Tuesday, May 18, 2010
looking back
So it's been about 2 months since I've posted to this thing, idk what's wrong with me! But yeah, so I am definitely going to start going back to my old ways and blogging on her pretty much daily. It's crazy to look back and know that I wrote some of this stuff. I have fallen, or more like I just feel like I have fallen so far from that point. That was the best point in my life. I felt SO close with the Lord and now, while I know that he still loves me and of course I love him, I just don't feel as close. I pretty much stopped going to church, i just want to find somewhere i feel comfortable, where I'm not associated with drama, where no one knows me, where I can be myself, because honestly, the church I was going to, is way too much of a social thing for people instead of a time for worshiping our awesome God. So, goal for the next weeks are to try and post more often and hopefully to try and get my relationship with the Lord back to where it was.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Standards?
Are my standards too high because I want someone who is so on fire for the Lord that they don't really even care about anything else. All they want to do is worship and give praise to our amazing God. The answer is no. No, they aren't. They are right where they need to be. I need someone who can challenge me spiritually. I need someone to not be complacent in the Lord's love. How can you be complacent in something so amazing, so awesome, so overwhelming? YOU CAN'T! And if you are, I just pray that God will come into your life and shake things up.
Do I love what I have right now? Yes, I love every bit of it.
Is it tough to fight the constant battles? Yes, but more than anything it deepens my love and my faith for Him. I mean yes, it would be 8000 times easier to have someone who agreed with me, but at the same time, it keeps me on my toes and keeps me thinking. The Lord tells us that he suits us with armour. Because I wear this armor everyday of my life, I need not fear. I know that I am safe. I know that I am protected. I know that while I wear this suit that I am untouchable. So question me all you want to, but I will not fall. My faith is unshakeable. Try me.
God promises a mate for us. Yes, I really hope that this is him. I hope that this is it. But more than anything in this whole world, I just want him to strive for the Lord like I am right now. I know that our roles have switched. He brought me back to the Lord and I believe that now it's my turn to shake him up, to wake him up, to bring him further into the Lord.
I don't do this and say things because I think that I am a better Christian than you, it's not about that AT ALL. I say the things I say and do the things that I do because I love you and I don't want to see you get left behind while I chase after my God with everything I have.
Do I love what I have right now? Yes, I love every bit of it.
Is it tough to fight the constant battles? Yes, but more than anything it deepens my love and my faith for Him. I mean yes, it would be 8000 times easier to have someone who agreed with me, but at the same time, it keeps me on my toes and keeps me thinking. The Lord tells us that he suits us with armour. Because I wear this armor everyday of my life, I need not fear. I know that I am safe. I know that I am protected. I know that while I wear this suit that I am untouchable. So question me all you want to, but I will not fall. My faith is unshakeable. Try me.
God promises a mate for us. Yes, I really hope that this is him. I hope that this is it. But more than anything in this whole world, I just want him to strive for the Lord like I am right now. I know that our roles have switched. He brought me back to the Lord and I believe that now it's my turn to shake him up, to wake him up, to bring him further into the Lord.
I don't do this and say things because I think that I am a better Christian than you, it's not about that AT ALL. I say the things I say and do the things that I do because I love you and I don't want to see you get left behind while I chase after my God with everything I have.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
JESUS!
IS SO GOOOD! I just want to go to the top of the world and tell everyone about him and what he has done for me. Tonight was spectacular and I cannot wait to see what Mr. Floyd has in store me and for everyone else in our class over the next few months. Gosh, I'm so overwhelemed and want SO much more of what He has to offer for me. I am humbled by Him and His love. I am ALWAYS begging for more!
I'm feeeling compelled to write this out, most of the time I don't share my prayer with others, but like I said, I feel like I am being led to type this out.
Lord fill me up with you and your love. Lord, bring a revival to this generation. God I ask that those who don't know you will seek you and find your love and your glory. Father I pray that those who do know you, but are ashamed to profess their love for you, that you can give them the strength to not care what others think about them. Lord I ask you to help them see that all that matter is what You think of them God. Lord I just want everyone in this world no matter where they are, who they are, and what their conditions are that they can find you Lord, that they can seek you out with their whole hearts, that Lord, even if they do know you, that they can continue to be thirsty for more of you, that they continue to be hungry for more of you God. I pray that none of us will ever be complacent in Your love! Lord, I ask that when we start to feel stable in this life, in our faith, that you can shake us. God I pray that you can always keep us on our toes and never let us feel like we can sit and rest. Lord I pray that you may never let us stop and help us to realize that we have the rest of eternity to rest. We can rest for ETERNITY at Your feet. We can rest for ETERNITY at the foot of your throne! Lord I love you with all my heart and I give my life to you, like you gave your's son's life for all of your children on Earth. God I pray thaat you can use me to your needs, that you can do good actions through me. Use me God! Lord I want to do good works and all in YOUR NAME! You are so worthy of ALL praise. I give you my all Lord God and I cannot wait until I can serve you in your kingdom instead of this wordly place. But until that day, I will continue to serve you the best I can from down here. I will continue to try and reach out and bring more people to you and to your glory. Thanks be to you for everything you have done for me. And in Your name I pray, amen. (:
I'm feeeling compelled to write this out, most of the time I don't share my prayer with others, but like I said, I feel like I am being led to type this out.
Lord fill me up with you and your love. Lord, bring a revival to this generation. God I ask that those who don't know you will seek you and find your love and your glory. Father I pray that those who do know you, but are ashamed to profess their love for you, that you can give them the strength to not care what others think about them. Lord I ask you to help them see that all that matter is what You think of them God. Lord I just want everyone in this world no matter where they are, who they are, and what their conditions are that they can find you Lord, that they can seek you out with their whole hearts, that Lord, even if they do know you, that they can continue to be thirsty for more of you, that they continue to be hungry for more of you God. I pray that none of us will ever be complacent in Your love! Lord, I ask that when we start to feel stable in this life, in our faith, that you can shake us. God I pray that you can always keep us on our toes and never let us feel like we can sit and rest. Lord I pray that you may never let us stop and help us to realize that we have the rest of eternity to rest. We can rest for ETERNITY at Your feet. We can rest for ETERNITY at the foot of your throne! Lord I love you with all my heart and I give my life to you, like you gave your's son's life for all of your children on Earth. God I pray thaat you can use me to your needs, that you can do good actions through me. Use me God! Lord I want to do good works and all in YOUR NAME! You are so worthy of ALL praise. I give you my all Lord God and I cannot wait until I can serve you in your kingdom instead of this wordly place. But until that day, I will continue to serve you the best I can from down here. I will continue to try and reach out and bring more people to you and to your glory. Thanks be to you for everything you have done for me. And in Your name I pray, amen. (:
Monday, March 1, 2010
Who Are We Without Friends?
Friends. We are lonely, lost, bored, sad, depressed, have bad self images, and low self esteem without them. But really, the same applies to when we do have them. You can stand in a crowd and still be lonely. You can think you have a person all figured out, when in reality, you don't even know. You can be hanging out with friends, but still be vacant minded and bored. You can think that people like you, only to find out it isn't true. You can think that people want to be friends with you, only to find out that really, they don't.
People are people. There really isn't any other way to put it. Since the beginng of time people have been people ad until the end of time, people will be people. We have emotions, feelings, actions, thoughts, and words. We need to feel loved. We need to feel like we belong. We need to feel needed. We have jealousy. We have envy. We have sadness. We have desires. We have wants. We have needs. And when all these things mesh together, you get one big mess of human.
Everyone is concerned about number one, me, myself, i. But at the same time we are so concerned with everyone else, what they are doing, what they are saying, what they are wearing, who they are talking to, and where they are and when they're there. When will we become less concerned about them and more concerned about me? When will we become less concerned with me and more concerned with them? It's a never ending cycle. No matter what we do, it's never perfect, it's never right. If you are concerned with someone else, you're nosey. If you're concerned with yourself, you are selfish. There really is no balance.
Who can we trust anymore?
Who can we turn to anymore?
Who can we rely on anymore?
The answer is simple, no one but ourselves.
We must me confident, we must be reliable, we must be sure. Pick yourself up by your own bootstraps. Don't rely on others, because in the end, you'll just get screwed over.
Yes, people talk, it's a fact of life. Yes, people have different opinions, it's a fact of life. But in a world where we have so much to say, why does it get said to everyone but the person who needs to hear it?
Stop the drama. Stop the bs. Stop the sneaking. Stop the talking.
JUST DEAL.
People are people. There really isn't any other way to put it. Since the beginng of time people have been people ad until the end of time, people will be people. We have emotions, feelings, actions, thoughts, and words. We need to feel loved. We need to feel like we belong. We need to feel needed. We have jealousy. We have envy. We have sadness. We have desires. We have wants. We have needs. And when all these things mesh together, you get one big mess of human.
Everyone is concerned about number one, me, myself, i. But at the same time we are so concerned with everyone else, what they are doing, what they are saying, what they are wearing, who they are talking to, and where they are and when they're there. When will we become less concerned about them and more concerned about me? When will we become less concerned with me and more concerned with them? It's a never ending cycle. No matter what we do, it's never perfect, it's never right. If you are concerned with someone else, you're nosey. If you're concerned with yourself, you are selfish. There really is no balance.
Who can we trust anymore?
Who can we turn to anymore?
Who can we rely on anymore?
The answer is simple, no one but ourselves.
We must me confident, we must be reliable, we must be sure. Pick yourself up by your own bootstraps. Don't rely on others, because in the end, you'll just get screwed over.
Yes, people talk, it's a fact of life. Yes, people have different opinions, it's a fact of life. But in a world where we have so much to say, why does it get said to everyone but the person who needs to hear it?
Stop the drama. Stop the bs. Stop the sneaking. Stop the talking.
JUST DEAL.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
The Weight is Gone!
Today was such an eventful day in my life. I made ammends with people, I figured out what I think is best for ME, I think I am getting my life in order right now. This feeling is so great. I feel like I have everything under control and it's awesome! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me next! (:
Friday, February 26, 2010
UNIFY!
UNIFY was SO gooood. And of course Mellow Mushroom with the frands was GREAT! I saw this video and I can't decide if I like it or not, I think I do. His voice reminds me so much of Saosin, and I do enjoy some saosin. So here it is! Have a great weekend, be blessed!
Because of Him
Well I don’t know what you’ve heard
About the man who created this earth
But listen and I’ll tell you
About the things he went through
He gives His love and grace to all
He’ll be there when you fall
To pick you up again
He’ll help keep you from sin
With the sacrifice he made
With his own son’s blood he paid
For you and for me
To live and to breathe
Because of him I am made new
Because of him there’s things I wanna do
I wanna tell everyone about Him
Because of him I’m not afraid
Because of him the one who paid
His own life for mine
He’s one of a kind
He son died but not in vain
He suffered so much pain
But in his eyes,
it was so worth it
Tortured to his death
Then laid to rest
Only to be
Resurrected
Now he’s with his daddy
In the great kingdom of heaven
No longer does he suffer
He lives for eternity
Because of him I am made new
Because of him there’s things I wanna do
I wanna tell everyone about Him
Because of him I’m not afraid
Because of him the one who paid
His own life for mine
Let me tell you He’s one of a kind
About the man who created this earth
But listen and I’ll tell you
About the things he went through
He gives His love and grace to all
He’ll be there when you fall
To pick you up again
He’ll help keep you from sin
With the sacrifice he made
With his own son’s blood he paid
For you and for me
To live and to breathe
Because of him I am made new
Because of him there’s things I wanna do
I wanna tell everyone about Him
Because of him I’m not afraid
Because of him the one who paid
His own life for mine
He’s one of a kind
He son died but not in vain
He suffered so much pain
But in his eyes,
it was so worth it
Tortured to his death
Then laid to rest
Only to be
Resurrected
Now he’s with his daddy
In the great kingdom of heaven
No longer does he suffer
He lives for eternity
Because of him I am made new
Because of him there’s things I wanna do
I wanna tell everyone about Him
Because of him I’m not afraid
Because of him the one who paid
His own life for mine
Let me tell you He’s one of a kind
Alone Time
Today, I thought was going to be just a boring day where I realize that I don't really have many friends, I don't really have a life, and was pretty much just going to have a pity party for myself. Until I realized that this is not going to be a boring day. This is not going to be a pity party for myself. This day is going to be all for HIM, HIS MAJESTY! I am not worried about how many friends I have because I will ALWAYS have at least one and that's HIM. I am not worried about being bored because with HIM, I will always have something to work on. I am not going to throw myself a pity party because today, I am grateful to be ALIVE! Today, I give up my day for HIM. Today, I ask for the answers from HIM. Today, I realize life isn't about how many friends you have or protecting your ego, LIFE IS ABOUT HIM AND LIVING FOR HIM. I've started a new life. Now the question is, when are you going to start yours?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Lord I Will Lift You High
Jesus break these chains, that bind my feet
Help me to see, that I don’t need these things
Theses things that hold me back, from loving you with all my heart
There are so many times when the enemy calls my name
Lord I ask you to help me resist his call
Because I know that what he offers is nothing compared to your love
Lord let your light shine down
Shine down over me
I want to feel your warmth
I want to feel your touch
Lord you come first
Over everything
I will lift you high
I will lift you high
You gave me the greatest gift that I could ever get
You sent your only son to this earth to die for me
Every action that I take I do it because you live through me
How could I have been so blind
To not see that you were by my side, this whole time
Lord I will never let you down like I have so many times before
You love me despite of my faults
In your eyes i'm beautiful
Another one of your precious children
Lord I live my life for you
So Lord let your light shine down
Shine down over me
I want to feel your warmth
I want to feel your touch
Lord you come first
Over everything
I will lift you high
I will lift you high
Lord you come first
Over everything
I will lift you high
I will lift you high
Lord I lift you high
Help me to see, that I don’t need these things
Theses things that hold me back, from loving you with all my heart
There are so many times when the enemy calls my name
Lord I ask you to help me resist his call
Because I know that what he offers is nothing compared to your love
Lord let your light shine down
Shine down over me
I want to feel your warmth
I want to feel your touch
Lord you come first
Over everything
I will lift you high
I will lift you high
You gave me the greatest gift that I could ever get
You sent your only son to this earth to die for me
Every action that I take I do it because you live through me
How could I have been so blind
To not see that you were by my side, this whole time
Lord I will never let you down like I have so many times before
You love me despite of my faults
In your eyes i'm beautiful
Another one of your precious children
Lord I live my life for you
So Lord let your light shine down
Shine down over me
I want to feel your warmth
I want to feel your touch
Lord you come first
Over everything
I will lift you high
I will lift you high
Lord you come first
Over everything
I will lift you high
I will lift you high
Lord I lift you high
green with envy
I hate that I am such the jealous person that I am. Especially when I have no right to feel that way. I mean, I guess I have a right to feel that way, but with the past history, I really don't. I should be happy, I should be glad, but all I can do is sit here and think "Damnit, that could be me." I should not feel like this at all. I am perfectly happy, I have everything I want, everyone I want, and everything is just happening for me. My life is right in place, going the way that I want it to go, yet I get upset over nothing and let it bother me. The Bible tells me in Hebrews 13:5, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." I know that I should be content with what I have and know that God is here with me all the time and always will be, but I just cannot get over this! UGGGH
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Christianity
"Imagine a tiny ant. Now, what does that ant know about you or your life? Nothing, it's basically impossible. Now think of yourself, a tiny human. What can YOU as this tiny human know about this 'God'. Think, the difference and size in knowledge of a human to an ant is about arms length, but the difference between you and 'God' is from what, here (FL) to California?"
This is the series of questions, that are making me think over EVERYTHING. No this is not me questioning my beliefs as a Christian, and no this is not about me getting ready to bash people who aren't Christians. This entry is about me defending my faith. This entry is to prove a point about my faith. This entry is to stand up for my God who is good in every way.
He created us in His imagine, therefore I believe that there is something within us, that allows us to relate to Him. I don't think that my God is a sadistic God who would just put humans on this big rock to play with them. I don't believe that we are His little play toys. I believe that he sent His only son, Jesus Christ to die for me, and for you. I KNOW that He shows His love for me not only through the death and resurrection of His son, but through His word. And through His word, He reveals Himself. Unlike the ant, we, as humans are capable of knowledge, thinking, and reasoning. Unlike the ant, we have His word to read. Unlike the ant, we have prayer so that we may talk to our Father. So no, I do not picture myself as an ant looking up to a human. I picture myself as a beautiful child of a loving, caring, powerful, God. And no, I do not think that my human brain could ever wrap around Him or His love and plans for us. But that's okay, because I don't have to know the specifics of Him. Just to know His love is enough for me.
As a Christian, it is a constant battle. A battle against the enemy, other people, and even sometimes myself. As a child of the Lord, I look to His word for strength and the will to deal with my oppressors. In His word, He tells us;
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
So suit up, get the amour of the Lord. Stand firm and steadfast in His power. Don't let oppressors bring you down. Pray for an open, understanding heart.
SOLDIER UP!
This is the series of questions, that are making me think over EVERYTHING. No this is not me questioning my beliefs as a Christian, and no this is not about me getting ready to bash people who aren't Christians. This entry is about me defending my faith. This entry is to prove a point about my faith. This entry is to stand up for my God who is good in every way.
He created us in His imagine, therefore I believe that there is something within us, that allows us to relate to Him. I don't think that my God is a sadistic God who would just put humans on this big rock to play with them. I don't believe that we are His little play toys. I believe that he sent His only son, Jesus Christ to die for me, and for you. I KNOW that He shows His love for me not only through the death and resurrection of His son, but through His word. And through His word, He reveals Himself. Unlike the ant, we, as humans are capable of knowledge, thinking, and reasoning. Unlike the ant, we have His word to read. Unlike the ant, we have prayer so that we may talk to our Father. So no, I do not picture myself as an ant looking up to a human. I picture myself as a beautiful child of a loving, caring, powerful, God. And no, I do not think that my human brain could ever wrap around Him or His love and plans for us. But that's okay, because I don't have to know the specifics of Him. Just to know His love is enough for me.
As a Christian, it is a constant battle. A battle against the enemy, other people, and even sometimes myself. As a child of the Lord, I look to His word for strength and the will to deal with my oppressors. In His word, He tells us;
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
So suit up, get the amour of the Lord. Stand firm and steadfast in His power. Don't let oppressors bring you down. Pray for an open, understanding heart.
SOLDIER UP!
Monday, February 22, 2010
new weeeek
and i'm startin' it right. i went to my classes today! though i still have one more, i know i'll go to it. but the past month or so i've really been slackin' in the school department, so starting today, this week, i WILL go to EVERY class EVERY day. i can do it! i willl do it!
also, just had a conversation with a friend that made me think. isn't it amazing how we can find so much time to fit in things in our schedule that we WANT to do, yet when it comes to prayer and bible devotions or going to church, we can never seem to make the time? why is it that if your friend calls last minute to go see a movie, you can rush and get ready and go, but we can't seem to find 5 minutes a day to talk to Jesus? he gave up HIS life for us, and we can't even thank him by giving him at least 5 minutes a day? i mean, i can't say that i sit here everyday and read the bible for hours and pray non-stop, because i don't, but i do pray every night. the least that i can give Him is a prayer every night. moral of the story i guess is, don't find time, make time. make time for your Lord and savior, after all, he made time for you.
also, just had a conversation with a friend that made me think. isn't it amazing how we can find so much time to fit in things in our schedule that we WANT to do, yet when it comes to prayer and bible devotions or going to church, we can never seem to make the time? why is it that if your friend calls last minute to go see a movie, you can rush and get ready and go, but we can't seem to find 5 minutes a day to talk to Jesus? he gave up HIS life for us, and we can't even thank him by giving him at least 5 minutes a day? i mean, i can't say that i sit here everyday and read the bible for hours and pray non-stop, because i don't, but i do pray every night. the least that i can give Him is a prayer every night. moral of the story i guess is, don't find time, make time. make time for your Lord and savior, after all, he made time for you.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
dawgies
so i've decided that if i got to breed dogs for the rest of my life, it would be complete. i'm watching dogs 101 with my mom
right now and they have chaweenies, and chorkies, and puggles, and i want to do that. ): i guess i could still do that if i went to vet schoool. then i could take care of them myself too! yes. so, a short list of life goals in in order! 1. gradaute from unf with a biology degree.
2. go to grad school for veterinary sciences.
3. have my own practice.
4. raise designer dogs.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
shuttter island
this movie was INCREDIBLE. i would say that it is one of the ONLY movies that have been made from a book that I really enjoyed. I would definitely go see it many more times. DiCaprio was gorgeous as always. (: it's been a year or two since i last read the book, but the movie went along almost exactly with the book, or at least what i remember of it.
oh and encase you were wondering, yes, jesus loves you. (:
he loves you more than me.
and me more than you.
it's complicated, but true. (:
movie day.
i know yesterday i said that i really wanted to see shutter island, but had no one to go with, but my mom and i are going today! i am so excited. i'm just hoping that the movie is as good as or better than the book. but i must say that i always find the book to be better. i guess it's something to do with letting your own imagination play the "movie" in your head, so when you see it in production and it's not as you thought that it should be, you criticize. but yeah, so, when i return, i shall have a movie review to share! (:
Friday, February 19, 2010
first blooog!
hellllo wonderful folks at blogspot! (: so i've tried this whole blogging thing before, but it didn't quite work out. so let's try this one mo' 'gain! 
alright, so i am SO exicited for shutter island. i wanted to go see it tonight, but a. i had no one to go with and b. i have no money anyways. ): but i read the book a year or so ago and was done with it in like a day or two. it was SO goood. my english teacher told me that they were planning on making a movie out of it and i about pooped my freaking pants. needless to say, i'm so excited to see if the movie is as good as the book was. so i'm crosssin my fingers!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
