looking back

So it's been about 2 months since I've posted to this thing, idk what's wrong with me! But yeah, so I am definitely going to start going back to my old ways and blogging on her pretty much daily. It's crazy to look back and know that I wrote some of this stuff. I have fallen, or more like I just feel like I have fallen so far from that point. That was the best point in my life. I felt SO close with the Lord and now, while I know that he still loves me and of course I love him, I just don't feel as close. I pretty much stopped going to church, i just want to find somewhere i feel comfortable, where I'm not associated with drama, where no one knows me, where I can be myself, because honestly, the church I was going to, is way too much of a social thing for people instead of a time for worshiping our awesome God. So, goal for the next weeks are to try and post more often and hopefully to try and get my relationship with the Lord back to where it was.

Standards?

Are my standards too high because I want someone who is so on fire for the Lord that they don't really even care about anything else. All they want to do is worship and give praise to our amazing God. The answer is no. No, they aren't. They are right where they need to be. I need someone who can challenge me spiritually. I need someone to not be complacent in the Lord's love. How can you be complacent in something so amazing, so awesome, so overwhelming? YOU CAN'T! And if you are, I just pray that God will come into your life and shake things up.
Do I love what I have right now? Yes, I love every bit of it.
Is it tough to fight the constant battles? Yes, but more than anything it deepens my love and my faith for Him. I mean yes, it would be 8000 times easier to have someone who agreed with me, but at the same time, it keeps me on my toes and keeps me thinking. The Lord tells us that he suits us with armour. Because I wear this armor everyday of my life, I need not fear. I know that I am safe. I know that I am protected. I know that while I wear this suit that I am untouchable. So question me all you want to, but I will not fall. My faith is unshakeable. Try me.
God promises a mate for us. Yes, I really hope that this is him. I hope that this is it. But more than anything in this whole world, I just want him to strive for the Lord like I am right now. I know that our roles have switched. He brought me back to the Lord and I believe that now it's my turn to shake him up, to wake him up, to bring him further into the Lord.

I don't do this and say things because I think that I am a better Christian than you, it's not about that AT ALL. I say the things I say and do the things that I do because I love you and I don't want to see you get left behind while I chase after my God with everything I have.

JESUS!

IS SO GOOOD! I just want to go to the top of the world and tell everyone about him and what he has done for me. Tonight was spectacular and I cannot wait to see what Mr. Floyd has in store me and for everyone else in our class over the next few months. Gosh, I'm so overwhelemed and want SO much more of what He has to offer for me. I am humbled by Him and His love. I am ALWAYS begging for more!



I'm feeeling compelled to write this out, most of the time I don't share my prayer with others, but like I said, I feel like I am being led to type this out.

Lord fill me up with you and your love. Lord, bring a revival to this generation. God I ask that those who don't know you will seek you and find your love and your glory. Father I pray that those who do know you, but are ashamed to profess their love for you, that you can give them the strength to not care what others think about them. Lord I ask you to help them see that all that matter is what You think of them God. Lord I just want everyone in this world no matter where they are, who they are, and what their conditions are that they can find you Lord, that they can seek you out with their whole hearts, that Lord, even if they do know you, that they can continue to be thirsty for more of you, that they continue to be hungry for more of you God. I pray that none of us will ever be complacent in Your love! Lord, I ask that when we start to feel stable in this life, in our faith, that you can shake us. God I pray that you can always keep us on our toes and never let us feel like we can sit and rest. Lord I pray that you may never let us stop and help us to realize that we have the rest of eternity to rest. We can rest for ETERNITY at Your feet. We can rest for ETERNITY at the foot of your throne! Lord I love you with all my heart and I give my life to you, like you gave your's son's life for all of your children on Earth. God I pray thaat you can use me to your needs, that you can do good actions through me. Use me God! Lord I want to do good works and all in YOUR NAME! You are so worthy of ALL praise. I give you my all Lord God and I cannot wait until I can serve you in your kingdom instead of this wordly place. But until that day, I will continue to serve you the best I can from down here. I will continue to try and reach out and bring more people to you and to your glory. Thanks be to you for everything you have done for me. And in Your name I pray, amen. (:

Who Are We Without Friends?

Friends. We are lonely, lost, bored, sad, depressed, have bad self images, and low self esteem without them. But really, the same applies to when we do have them. You can stand in a crowd and still be lonely. You can think you have a person all figured out, when in reality, you don't even know. You can be hanging out with friends, but still be vacant minded and bored. You can think that people like you, only to find out it isn't true. You can think that people want to be friends with you, only to find out that really, they don't.
People are people. There really isn't any other way to put it. Since the beginng of time people have been people ad until the end of time, people will be people. We have emotions, feelings, actions, thoughts, and words. We need to feel loved. We need to feel like we belong. We need to feel needed. We have jealousy. We have envy. We have sadness. We have desires. We have wants. We have needs. And when all these things mesh together, you get one big mess of human.
Everyone is concerned about number one, me, myself, i. But at the same time we are so concerned with everyone else, what they are doing, what they are saying, what they are wearing, who they are talking to, and where they are and when they're there. When will we become less concerned about them and more concerned about me? When will we become less concerned with me and more concerned with them? It's a never ending cycle. No matter what we do, it's never perfect, it's never right. If you are concerned with someone else, you're nosey. If you're concerned with yourself, you are selfish. There really is no balance.
Who can we trust anymore?
Who can we turn to anymore?
Who can we rely on anymore?
The answer is simple, no one but ourselves.
We must me confident, we must be reliable, we must be sure. Pick yourself up by your own bootstraps. Don't rely on others, because in the end, you'll just get screwed over.
Yes, people talk, it's a fact of life. Yes, people have different opinions, it's a fact of life. But in a world where we have so much to say, why does it get said to everyone but the person who needs to hear it?
Stop the drama. Stop the bs. Stop the sneaking. Stop the talking.
JUST DEAL.

The Weight is Gone!

Today was such an eventful day in my life. I made ammends with people, I figured out what I think is best for ME, I think I am getting my life in order right now. This feeling is so great. I feel like I have everything under control and it's awesome! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me next! (:

UNIFY!

UNIFY was SO gooood. And of course Mellow Mushroom with the frands was GREAT! I saw this video and I can't decide if I like it or not, I think I do. His voice reminds me so much of Saosin, and I do enjoy some saosin. So here it is! Have a great weekend, be blessed!